Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
