The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
