absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Randomize
