Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
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