Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
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