I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
