He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
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On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
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