we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
