I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my liver is dry heaving
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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