My nipple is on Facebook.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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