I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Do you have feelings for this penis?
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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