Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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