Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
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