There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
