every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
