Already got asked if we're dating
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
He had one of those small greek statue penises
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
