were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
