There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
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