Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
