I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
