So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
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Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
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Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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