living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
