Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
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