my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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