I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
