Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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