Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Randomize
