WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Randomize
