Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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