I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
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I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
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I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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