I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
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