Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
