Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
