Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I still have a little drunk in my system
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
