Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
