Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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