Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize