I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
