When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
