Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I just saw a hot homeless man
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
