I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Randomize
