i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
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