Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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