My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Randomize
