The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Damn victory sex feels great
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