I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
