I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
