ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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