wat bout pragnant strippers??
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
