I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
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i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Randomize