I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
