you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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