We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
You did what with his pubic hair?
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