you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
We smell like vodka and hangover
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize
