Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
