My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
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i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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